If you need to talk to someone immediately about safety:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Are you unsure if you are in an abusive relationship?
When most people hear “domestic violence” or “family violence,” they think of physical or sexual violence. In some cases, people who cause harm never physically harm their victims.
Someone can cause harm by using threats, shame, insults, and isolation to control. This economic, psychological, and emotional abuse and control can also occur when threats are made about children, parenting time or visitation, or child support. Abuse could also include controlling resources, such as denying access to money, a car, a telephone, or legal documents like children’s birth certificates or social security cards.
Has the other parent…?
- Accessed or has taken your finances or prevented you from making money
- Put you down, yelled at you, called you names, or told you that you are worthless
- Told you that you were imagining occurrences or that you were greatly exaggerating them
- Threatened to harm your children, family, friends, co-workers, or pets
- Threatened negative action toward you or family members if you pursue child support
- Monitored your activities (who you see, where you go) and/or your social media
- Hit, slapped, kicked, pushed, thrown things at you, punched, choked, pulled your hair, or in some way hurt you
- Threatened or attempted suicide if you tried to leave or they were worried you were leaving them
- Used a weapon against you or threatened you with a lethal weapon
- Made threats or forced or coerced you to do things physically or sexually that made you uncomfortable
- Used stalking behaviors such as showing up at your work, family or friend events
- Caused you to seek an order of protection
These behaviors suggest potential safety concerns that may be considered during the child support process.
Why is Family Violence important to consider when accessing child support?
For many family violence victims and survivors, child support can represent an opportunity to establish and maintain economic independence from an abusive partner. At the same time, the child support process may introduce safety concerns for some victims and their families.
Many parents want or need child support but worry about getting child support safely. Ensuring children’s basic needs are being met is vital to the stability of families. You are not alone. Did you know that research finds that 90% of domestic violence victims want to pursue child support if they can do so safely?
What does the Child Support Process look like, and what safety modifications can we provide?
Notice or Service of Process to the other parent
- What may happen: When a case is opened with Child Support Services (CSS), the other parent will receive a legal notice. This may be sent in the mail, or a process server or sheriff may serve them with paperwork at their home or work.
- Safety modifications: If you have just applied for child support via the online application or want to apply for child support services but have questions or concerns about your safety, please return to the homepage of this website and enter a county or city name under “Find a County Child Support Office” on the right side of the menu. It will give you contact information for the city and county child support agency you want to apply through or have already applied to.
Your address
- What may happen: Your address might be on court documents filed with the courts and sent to the other parent.
- Safety modifications: Request Non-disclosure of Information (NDI) on your case as soon as possible. Even if the other party knows where you currently live, if you move in the future and want to keep your address off the record, requesting NDI now will keep that information sealed or redacted. What is NDI? You may also be able to receive an alternative address through the Colorado Address Confidentiality Program (ACP).
Establishing a support order in the CSS county office
- What may happen: CSS can establish child support orders within its offices instead of through the courts. This process is called an Administrative Process Action, or APA. An APA is done through a negotiation conference. You have the right to attend this negotiation conference.
- Safety modifications: Discuss establishment actions with your CSS county worker. If you are concerned that establishing child support may not be safe, you may request that your case be closed, and if you are on CO Works or TANF, you may be eligible for Good Cause. What is Good Cause? You can also request that you appear at the office at a different time than the other party and be seated in a different office. Some counties may also be able to provide an escort to and from the office. It is important to reach out to your county CSS office to find out what safety measures can be put into place.
Establishing a support order or modifying an order in the courts
- What may happen: You may have to go to court to establish or modify a child support order.
Safety modifications: Discuss establishment actions with your CSS county worker. If you are concerned for your safety by having enforcement actions occur, you may request your case to be closed, and if you are on CO Works or TANF, you may be eligible for Good Cause. What is Good Cause?
You may be able to request that the CSS county worker arrange for a security escort at the courthouse.
You may also request information from a local DV Advocacy Group.
Consider bringing a friend, support person, or DV advocate.
You may also want to contact the courts to see if you can attend the hearing via phone or video.
You may wish to request separate waiting areas and separate meeting rooms through the courts.
Establishing parentage via DNA testing
- What may happen: Many CSS county offices can conduct DNA testing or make appointments at lab testing facilities to establish parentage.
- Safety modifications: Request a separate time from the other party being tested. If you are concerned about entering and exiting the facility or office, request an escort.
Enforcing child support orders
- What may happen: The CSS office will enforce support orders.
- Safety modifications: Discuss enforcement actions with your CSS county worker. If you are concerned for your safety by having enforcement actions occur, you may request your case to be closed, and if you are on CO Works or TANF, you may be eligible for Good Cause. What is Good Cause?
If you don’t want child support because of safety concerns, we want you to know your options
For some people, getting child support may be dangerous. There are options available to help protect you. If pursuing child support from the other parent could put you or your children at risk of physical or emotional harm even with safety precautions, you may be able to request Good Cause from participating in the child support process if you are applying for or are receiving Colorado Works (CW)/TANF assistance.
If you or your children have safety concerns from the other parent, you can request Good Cause so that you are not mandatorily referred to CSS and required to cooperate with CSS. Ask your Colorado Works eligibility department about Good Cause. What is Good Cause?
Your safety and the safety of your children is a priority
The safety of families applying for or receiving child support services is critically important. Parts of the child support process may raise safety concerns; to address these concerns, some child support processes may be modified.
You may have concerns that Child Welfare will become involved if you disclose domestic violence. Child Support professionals focus on child support. They are only required to make a report to Child Welfare if they have reasonable cause to suspect a child is being harmed or in imminent danger of harm. Child Welfare is not involved in any decision to set or enforce child support.
You may update information about safety at any time your case is open, even if you previously indicated there were no concerns about family violence to your child support worker. Situations change, and safety is always a priority. You are the best person to calculate your risk and what is best for you and your family's safety.
Resources
- Family Violence Resources
The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence so they can live their lives free of abuse. Highly-trained, expert advocates are available to offer free, confidential, and compassionate support, crisis intervention information, education, and referral services 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Violence Free Colorado is Colorado’s domestic violence coalition. The coalition provides technical assistance and training to help organizations and individuals across the state to better support survivors of relationship abuse. Violence Free Colorado also advocates for policy change at the state and national levels.
StrongHearts Native Helpline offers a culturally-appropriate, anonymous, free, and confidential service available 24/7 nationwide to Native American and Alaska Natives impacted by domestic and sexual violence.
Safe Havens for Pets of Individuals Experiencing Domestic Violence. Safe havens are sheltering services available in an area that help individuals experiencing domestic violence place their companion animals out of harm’s way so that they may seek safety for themselves as well as their animals. This website features a directory of safe havens nationwide.
Colorado Survivor Resources (search by area). This is a searchable directory of community-based domestic violence agencies across Colorado that provide free and confidential support.
The National Center on Domestic Violence, Trauma, and Mental Health promotes survivor-defined healing, liberation, and equity by transforming the systems that impact survivors of domestic and sexual violence and their families. The organization’s website features a wealth of resources, including domestic violence research, toolkits, technical assistance, and webinars.
The Rose Andom Center (Denver County) is Colorado’s first family justice center. At the Rose Andom Center, survivors can access support for themselves and their children, including legal help with protection orders, medical care through Denver Health, and counseling to address trauma.
TESSA (Colorado Springs) is the only provider of confidential services specifically for victims of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault (DVSA) in El Paso and Teller Counties.
The Blue Bench is a Denver-based nonprofit organization committed to eliminating sexual assault and its impact through comprehensive issue advocacy, prevention, and care. The organization provides individual and group therapy, including yoga and art programs, case management, and more, to survivors aged 13 or older.
Colorado Crisis Services provides free, confidential, and immediate support from trained professionals and peer specialists, available 24/7/365 by calling 844-493-TALK (8255) or texting TALK to 38255. Colorado residents can also seek services in-person at walk-in centers, regardless of ability to pay.
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, across the United States and its territories. The 988 Lifeline consists of a national network of over 200 local crisis centers.
love is respect. A project of the National Domestic Violence Hotline, love is respect, offers 24/7 information, support, and advocacy to young people between the ages of 13 and 26 who have questions or concerns about their romantic relationships. The organization is the only teen helpline serving all of the United States.
- Legal Resources
Project Safeguard is a nonprofit organization committed to helping end gender-based violence through safety planning, legal advocacy, direct court support, and attorney services to victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, and stalking. The organization can connect you to a legal advocate during regular business hours, Monday through Friday.
WomensLaw.org is a project of the National Network to End Domestic Violence. The website features numerous resources for victims and survivors of family violence, including advocates and shelters, legal aid, courthouse locations, and more.
PorchLight (Jefferson/Gilpin Counties). Located in Jefferson County, PorchLight is a Family Justice Center (FJC) that provides comprehensive legal, emotional, and critical supportive services for survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, abuse of at-risk individuals, elder abuse, and human trafficking. The FJC is a safe, caring environment that provides one-stop services and support.
- Colorado Benefits and Assistance Resources
Colorado Benefits Assistance. The Colorado Department of Human Services has several programs available to help families consistently put food on the table, heat their homes, find livable-wage work, and afford basic necessities like rent, utilities, milk, and diapers.
The Colorado Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) helps low-income households purchase food. Families and individuals can receive a monthly benefit to buy healthy food.
The Colorado Works Program (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families) is an employment program that supports families with children on their path to self-sufficiency. Clients can receive cash assistance, schooling, workforce development, and skills training.
The Colorado Low-income Energy Assistance Program (LEAP) is a federally funded program that helps eligible hard-working Colorado families, seniors, and individuals pay a portion of their winter home heating costs. Applications are accepted from November through April of each year.
Colorado Disability Determination Services (DDS). Social Security pays benefits to people who are unable to work because they have a medical condition that’s expected to last at least one year. Applications can be submitted online or at a local Social Security office.
Colorado Employment Assistance. The Colorado Department of Human Services provides several types of employment assistance to help individuals receive job skills training, reenter the workforce, and gain employment.
The Colorado Child Care Assistance Program (CCCAP) helps families that are homeless, working, searching for work, or in school find low-income child care assistance. Families that are enrolled in the Colorado Works Program can also use CCCAP services.
Child Health Plan Plus (CHP+) is public low-cost health insurance for certain children and pregnant women. It is for people who earn too much to qualify for Health First Colorado (Colorado's Medicaid program) but not enough to pay for private health insurance.
- Get Connected. Get Help.
211. United Way’s 211 database contains more than 7,000 resources for food, shelter, rental assistance, childcare, and more across Colorado. Dial 2-1-1 to get support today!
