If you need to talk to someone immediately about safety:
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Are you unsure if you are in an abusive relationship?
When most people hear “domestic violence” or “family violence,” they think of physical or sexual violence. In some cases, people who cause harm never physically harm their victims.
Someone can cause harm by using threats, shame, insults, and isolation to control. This economic, psychological, and emotional abuse and control can also occur when threats are made about children, parenting time or visitation, or child support. Abuse could also include controlling resources, such as denying access to money, a car, a telephone, or legal documents like children’s birth certificates or social security cards.
Has the other parent…?
- Accessed or has taken your finances or prevented you from making money
- Put you down, yelled at you, called you names, or told you that you are worthless
- Told you that you were imagining occurrences or that you were greatly exaggerating them
- Threatened to harm your children, family, friends, co-workers, or pets
- Threatened negative action toward you or family members if you pursue child support
- Monitored your activities (who you see, where you go) and/or your social media
- Hit, slapped, kicked, pushed, thrown things at you, punched, choked, pulled your hair, or in some way hurt you
- Threatened or attempted suicide if you tried to leave or they were worried you were leaving them
- Used a weapon against you or threatened you with a lethal weapon
- Made threats or forced or coerced you to do things physically or sexually that made you uncomfortable
- Used stalking behaviors such as showing up at your work, family or friend events
- Caused you to seek an order of protection
These behaviors suggest potential safety concerns that may be considered during the child support process.
Why is Family Violence important to consider when accessing child support?
For many family violence victims and survivors, child support can represent an opportunity to establish and maintain economic independence from an abusive partner. At the same time, the child support process may introduce safety concerns for some victims and their families.
Many parents want or need child support but worry about getting child support safely. Ensuring children’s basic needs are being met is vital to the stability of families. You are not alone. Did you know that research finds that 90% of domestic violence victims want to pursue child support if they can do so safely?
If you don’t want child support because of safety concerns, we want you to know your options
For some people, getting child support may be dangerous. There are options available to help protect you. If pursuing child support from the other parent could put you or your children at risk of physical or emotional harm even with safety precautions, you may be able to request Good Cause from participating in the child support process if you are applying for or are receiving Colorado Works (CW)/TANF assistance.
If you or your children have safety concerns from the other parent, you can request Good Cause so that you are not mandatorily referred to CSS and required to cooperate with CSS. Ask your Colorado Works eligibility department about Good Cause. What is Good Cause?
Your safety and the safety of your children is a priority
The safety of families applying for or receiving child support services is critically important. Parts of the child support process may raise safety concerns; to address these concerns, some child support processes may be modified.
You may have concerns that Child Welfare will become involved if you disclose domestic violence. Child Support professionals focus on child support. They are only required to make a report to Child Welfare if they have reasonable cause to suspect a child is being harmed or in imminent danger of harm. Child Welfare is not involved in any decision to set or enforce child support.
You may update information about safety at any time your case is open, even if you previously indicated there were no concerns about family violence to your child support worker. Situations change, and safety is always a priority. You are the best person to calculate your risk and what is best for you and your family's safety.
